Category Archives: Corpse Talk

General posts…from beyond the grave.

Haters Gonna Swipe!

Since most of my shirts are products / places / things from shows and films, I’m never under the impression that I’ll be the only one doing a particular tee.  Since I’m a video editor and not a designer or artist, I never expect I’ll be doing the most well “drawn.”

However, I never expected shirt companies to take something I’ve done and sell it as their own.

Vamonos Pest Control

Most companies only took the bug portion of the drawing but some just sell the EXACT design.

Since I did this shirt [Vamonos Pest Control] after the first time the fictitious company was shown on Breaking Bad, I didn’t have a great source image to trace (which I do when attempting to replicate an existing element to incorporate into a design).  Since I’m not a professional artist, there are some unique details in the shirt (mistakes) that no one would have intentionally done.  The oddest part of this is that other people have done the bug design better than me, but their’s haven’t been appropriated.

BTW, I haven’t included any comparison images because I don’t want to increase the frequency they show up in searches, but look a the one above and imagine the exact same thing (for the the bug, at least).

Gray Matter

Given the nature of the types of shirts I make, I’m not unaware of the irony of crying about copyright infringement when 90% of my stuff is at least inspired by another’s intellectual property but at least I have the respect to take the time to modify and alter and re-draw the element and make something different with it.

Madrigal

Here’s the list of companies to date that took my rendering and have been selling shirts and other items with my drawing of the drawing from the truck on the TV Show on them: Crowne Apparel, Cinefilia Camesetas, (both of whom literally used the entire design), Mean Fellas, Degenerate Clothing, Front Room Cinema,  3D Supply, Texlab, ShirtCity and Futbolk.uk.

Mike Ehrmantraut

At this point, I’ve only contacted a company about the Crowne Apparel design as they took the entire design and sell it on the same print to order shop as mine.  The other one’s don’t really bother me too much, I just think they’re sort of stupid for not stealing one of the better renderings of the bug.

I’m just happy some people buy the shirts I make (for myself. first and foremost) and enjoy them.

In other news; all Breaking Bad related shirt I’ve made and will make will now also appear in their own shop at http://heisenberg.spreadshirt.com/

Me thinks I’ve just been dumped via text!!!

Not sure who it is though.  It’s certainly not my wife, she adores me.

Today I received some messages from a number I don’t know, these are their words…

3:02 – “the fact that u can throw this whole thing out the window repeatedly is backseat [sic] is something”

3:05 – “pls ignore message…not important…have a nice life”

3:23 – “sorry bout that…those previous messages were unnecessary…this cannot be repaired…it is tossed aside to [sic] easily…time to move on for good..”

MY REPLY: 3:52 – “FINE THEN!!!  See if I care, I’ll tell the world about u still being a nasty ass bed-wetter and how I did your dad that day when you was ballin’ anyways.  C’est la vie, ya prick!”

Making friends IS easy!

2002 Ween Pizza Hut Jingles

So, most of you clever and worldly JCiD readers probably know about this but I was thinking about it today and laughing out loud. Basically, Pizza Hut had some agency attempting to come up with hip ads for the pizza they made with all the cheese in the crust (WTHF?). Anyway, they tried to be cool and hired Ween.

So Dean Ween and Jean Ween created a total of six after repeated rejections. I believe this was their 5th…

Dean and Jean Ween being Mean?

[Sorry, I have to put a "new window" link for copyright stuffs]

Where’d the Cheese Go?

Then on the final submission (and I’m not 100% sure this is true, but I’m not the effing news) they submitted this one…

Where’d The Cheese Go? Rev6 (NSFW)

8 years later and it still makes me crack up.

98% of Facebook Users Don’t Want to be at Work Today

This shocking information comes via a recent study by the statistic minded, statistic gatherers and compilers of the top secret organization known as the CENSUS BUREAU (yes, like the furniture, I didn’t believe it either until I found they have a website proving they’re a legitimate organization).

Unlike the image that we all share of happy workers, working hard today like the ones below in the multiculturally diverse, business looking stock photo; FaceBook users are actually more likely to be wearing a frown than an unnatural smile and breakaway Dockers while standing in a triangular flight formation.

THIS IMAGE IS A LIE!

The remaining 2% of FaceBook users may or may not be happy to be working today.  It’s difficult to tell as they are currently posting the food they are, or plan on eating, the bowel movement they recently parted with, the Cuban gangster they just killed or something political that they cut and pasted from a junk email from their cousin’s idiot girlfriend who they pretend to like.

An inside source, Susie “Lolcat” Lewis who wishes to remain unanimous “friended” a Census employee named Margaret Hughes and was surprised to discover that even her “friend” was occasionally unhappy to be at work today.  However, since Margaret Hughes (the data entry clerk on the fourth floor and who consumes a Cathy mug of cheap bourbon three times a working day) continuously rejects our friend request; we have yet to confirm this allegation.

Further studies suggest that even some non-FaceBook users are unhappy to be at work today. However, this could not be confirmed as they had no way of communicating this information with that kid from grammar school that they never spoke to because she smelled like cheeses, or anyone for that matter, as most businesses have now adopted the “No Sharpies in the Bathroom Stall” policy engineered by Sony.

Businesses around the globe struggle to find the source of this problem that has grown exponentially at almost the exact same rate as the popularity of social networking, yet they have made no progress today.  However according to most business leaders’s status updates, they have made great progress in getting new animals in their farm.

A side study also discovered that 100% of all white people thought the person in the front of the above photo was “that boss lady from Law & Order; the good one, not the overrated one for perverts to get their jollies to.”

The writer of this article wishes to remain anonymous as any of his FaceBook friends would be well aware of the fact that he didn’t feel like being at work on the day he wrote this article, which coincidentally was today.  Also, this article sounded funnier in his head when he couldn’t sleep last night and now he thinks The Onion probably did it three years ago with better grammar and  funny.

A New Left 4 Dead 2 Inspired T Shirt To Help Prepare for 11/22/09!

After playing the AMAZING demo for the sequel to Left 4 Dead (one of the finest games I’ve ever played from one of the greatest gaming companies around, VALVe) I had no choice but to drum this one up. It’s one of MANY great signs and touches that really give the game an immersive, yet cinematic feel.  Now available in the Entertainment / Parody section of my shop.

Clean Hands Save Lives Left 4 Dead 2 Signage ShirtClean Hands Save Lives Left 4 Dead 2 Signage Shirt

I’m currently working on two other homage shirts that I plan to complete prior to the launch of the game and I have quite a few ideas for future ones. The world they’ve created just has so much to it that there’s an endless supply of fun shirt ideas.

My Top 5 Favorite De Niro Quotes

1. Mean Streets – “…yeah. No. No, Joey Scallops is Joey Clams.  He’s the one with testicles for hands.”

2. Taxi Driver – “I think someone should just take this city and just… just flush it down the fuckin’ toilet; meat-a-ball testicles and all.”

3. The Deer Hunter – “Hey, watch out, Axel. We’ll be calling him old fireballs after tonight on account of his sexy testicles and how they burn the tongue.”

4. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein – “I keep my promises.  They’re right here with my testicles.  This way they stay warm”

5. Meet the Parents – “I have nipples on my testicles, Greg, could you milk them?”

Check out my luv/hat tattooed testicles!

Honorable mention: As Louis Cyphre (don’t wanna spoil the movie, but get it?) in Angel Heart, De Niro slowly peels and eats testicles in an attempt to disturb and whet the appetite of Mickey Rourke’s Harry Angel.

If I were a Doctor…

I would probably wear my stethoscope everywhere, just so people knew I was legit. I’d likely even wear it when I had to go to the doctor, just to let him know I’m a patient AND a peer and that he could shove his diploma up his ass.

However, if in a restaurant and faced with a chocking victim I would merely point at the “save a chocking fucker” sign. Everything everyone needs to know is neatly illustrated by the same people who bring you Airplane Emergency Fucker trifold, laminated pamphlets.

After all, I’m a doctor and I don’t have time for this bullshit!

Seeking Refreshing Treats? Try This!

On a hot summer day, nothing cools you down like a delicious motorsicle. Blue is my favorite and I don’t even care if my lips look like a dead guy for a few days after (I don’t wash much).

Mmmmm....Mmmmmm....Motorsicle goes VROOOM!

But don’t be like Jaleeb Caru kids; eat it fast before it melts all over your Sunday dress or you’ll be sorry!

BTW, that ding dong in the Iced Cream truck from last week didn’t have any left (well, he had a few red ones but they taste like shit).

WTHF? Who Bit this Apple?

And why don’t they have any teeth?

It’s ridiculous and fake, if you’re going to pay ALL this money for a mobile computation device to show that you’re better then everyone else (which you are) then the least they could do is resist biting your logo before shipping your product.

Where's the Teef?

In Appleland, they first bit the logo, And I didn’t speak up because I put stickers on my computer;
And then they bit my keyboard, And I didn’t speak up because I’m missing a finger and never use the ESC key;
And then they bit my screen, And I didn’t speak up because I have no peripheral vision;
And then . . . they bit me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.

Assholes.

Sometimes when I’m driving…

and someone is following me, real close like.  I pretend that I’m those two hot babes from Cannonball Run and they’re the fuzz.  I generally put on some great music like The Final Countdown, really loud for maximum awesome. 

Then I drive slower so it seems like they’re gaining on me and then I go back to normal speed, but they can keep up with me because their cop car is souped up, mmm…mmmm…good.

These Bleeds?

It’s all fun and games until I end up driving into a swimming pool.  Then it’s just games. One time I was stuck in the car underwater for over an hour. It was the greatest 20 minutes of my life.