I wear glasses because my 7th grade girlfriend didn’t put out. I generally wear metal frames that are thin because I feel that glasses look like a gigantic billboard on your face that reads, “I am glasses on a face!” I have a love/hate relationship with plastic frames. I love the way they look, I hate to wear them.
Whenever I wear them I feel like I’m wearing one of those classy foam cowboy hats. I also feel like a pretentious asshole, like “look at me, I read and shit! Books even.”
I feel like the second I put them on I’m seen as someone who’s a tremendous asswipe without people actually needing to get to know me to discover what a tremendous asswipe I am. I’m pretty certain this is a direct result of my feelings towards others who’s skulls are adorned with such plastic face jewelry.
So I’ve got these new frames and I’m stuck with them. If only I could find the eyebrows and nose my disguise would be complete.
Here’s a non-artist’s representation of what the glasses look like on my faces.