New Glasses

I wear glasses because my 7th grade girlfriend didn’t put out. I generally wear metal frames that are thin because I feel that glasses look like a gigantic billboard on your face that reads, “I am glasses on a face!” I have a love/hate relationship with plastic frames. I love the way they look, I hate to wear them.

Hats are Rad!Whenever I wear them I feel like I’m wearing one of those classy foam cowboy hats. I also feel like a pretentious asshole, like “look at me, I read and shit! Books even.”

I feel like the second I put them on I’m seen as someone who’s a tremendous asswipe without people actually needing to get to know me to discover what a tremendous asswipe I am. I’m pretty certain this is a direct result of my feelings towards others who’s skulls are adorned with such plastic face jewelry.

Hats are Rad!

So I’ve got these new frames and I’m stuck with them. If only I could find the eyebrows and nose my disguise would be complete.

Here’s a non-artist’s representation of what the glasses look like on my faces.

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