New House M.D.’s Rehab Facility Shirt

In anticipation of the upcoming and awesome looking new season of House M.D. (medical doctor in laymen’s terms), I’ve whipped up a shirt with the front door sign from where he’ll be spending time terrorizing everyone as he detoxes from over 5 seasons of pain killer abuse.   Should be a laugh riot.

The T-Shirt – Available in My Shop in the Entertainment Parody Section

House Asylum Shirt

The Original from the new Extended Teaser

House Asylum Original

“Our favorite cantankerous, cane wielding, pill popping, super-fancy diagnostician has landed himself in rehab at the Mayfield Psychiatric Hospital. Celebrate his attempt at sobriety or express your sympathy for the staff with their entrance sign on your body.”

My Top 5 Favorite De Niro Quotes

1. Mean Streets – “…yeah. No. No, Joey Scallops is Joey Clams.  He’s the one with testicles for hands.”

2. Taxi Driver – “I think someone should just take this city and just… just flush it down the fuckin’ toilet; meat-a-ball testicles and all.”

3. The Deer Hunter – “Hey, watch out, Axel. We’ll be calling him old fireballs after tonight on account of his sexy testicles and how they burn the tongue.”

4. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein – “I keep my promises.  They’re right here with my testicles.  This way they stay warm”

5. Meet the Parents – “I have nipples on my testicles, Greg, could you milk them?”

Check out my luv/hat tattooed testicles!

Honorable mention: As Louis Cyphre (don’t wanna spoil the movie, but get it?) in Angel Heart, De Niro slowly peels and eats testicles in an attempt to disturb and whet the appetite of Mickey Rourke’s Harry Angel.

If I were a Doctor…

I would probably wear my stethoscope everywhere, just so people knew I was legit. I’d likely even wear it when I had to go to the doctor, just to let him know I’m a patient AND a peer and that he could shove his diploma up his ass.

However, if in a restaurant and faced with a chocking victim I would merely point at the “save a chocking fucker” sign. Everything everyone needs to know is neatly illustrated by the same people who bring you Airplane Emergency Fucker trifold, laminated pamphlets.

After all, I’m a doctor and I don’t have time for this bullshit!