On Ginger Ale

It’s tops. If you were to engage it in battle you would certainly lose despite your massive strenghtitiude.

Gingervating is NOT a fucking word!

It wouldn’t be your fault though; after all it’s ginger ale.

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Seeking Refreshing Treats? Try This!

On a hot summer day, nothing cools you down like a delicious motorsicle. Blue is my favorite and I don’t even care if my lips look like a dead guy for a few days after (I don’t wash much).

Mmmmm....Mmmmmm....Motorsicle goes VROOOM!

But don’t be like Jaleeb Caru kids; eat it fast before it melts all over your Sunday dress or you’ll be sorry!

BTW, that ding dong in the Iced Cream truck from last week didn’t have any left (well, he had a few red ones but they taste like shit).

Contrary to Popular Thought, Sneezing in a Dental Dam is Not Sexy

Especially at the dentist.

Today I had the privilege of having a root canal at an Orthodontist while still a bit under the weather. The result: a violent sneeze during the procedure.

Mmmmmm......phlegmy

Luckilly, I was quick enough to raise my hand in warning giving them a chance to remove the fine drill from my mouth hole. Basically, I almost blew the thing off my face, got snot all over the outside and filled the back of said dental shield with viscous sputum.

It was so awesome.

The Origin of Gravy

People have been cooking meats in various sauces and stocks from very ancient times. Why? The liquid acted as a cooking medium, made tough meat more palatable, and added flavor to the dish. Gravies evolved over time according to ingredient availabilty, local tastes, and traditional cuisine. Some are composed of meat drippings, others from creamy components. Today, gravies are typically used as a cooking medium, thickening agent, and topping. There are hundreds of recipes.

According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the English word “gravy” is obscure in origin. It is most likely derived from the Old French word “grane.” The earliest printed evidence of this word in our language from the Forme of Curry, an English cookbook circa 1390.

Source 

Gumdrops, WTF? *

Gumdrops Visual SimulationGumdrops are the kind of product that works on paper but fails miserably in reality.  Pictures of gumdrops look delicious, as I’m writing this my mouth is watering.  False advertising indeed.

However, gumdrops taste horrible, are only available in the homes of the elderly and have an odd salt looking sugar coating.  Furthermore, every time I eat one I leave a tooth behind.  Gumdrops; just like communism only less delicious.  

*Side note: I’m not a big fan of internet memes. I find them cutsie, tired and unoriginal.  However, I’m not a big fan of typing either so you will see me acclimate to the world wide internet web-i-site’s stupid language by using such acrothings in my posts.  From this point forth, WTF? will be replaced by WTHF? with the “H” standing for “H-E-double hockey sticks” as it’s closer to something I’d actually say with my mouth hole.