If I were a Doctor…

I would probably wear my stethoscope everywhere, just so people knew I was legit. I’d likely even wear it when I had to go to the doctor, just to let him know I’m a patient AND a peer and that he could shove his diploma up his ass.

However, if in a restaurant and faced with a chocking victim I would merely point at the “save a chocking fucker” sign. Everything everyone needs to know is neatly illustrated by the same people who bring you Airplane Emergency Fucker trifold, laminated pamphlets.

After all, I’m a doctor and I don’t have time for this bullshit!

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Gumdrops, WTF? *

Gumdrops Visual SimulationGumdrops are the kind of product that works on paper but fails miserably in reality.  Pictures of gumdrops look delicious, as I’m writing this my mouth is watering.  False advertising indeed.

However, gumdrops taste horrible, are only available in the homes of the elderly and have an odd salt looking sugar coating.  Furthermore, every time I eat one I leave a tooth behind.  Gumdrops; just like communism only less delicious.  

*Side note: I’m not a big fan of internet memes. I find them cutsie, tired and unoriginal.  However, I’m not a big fan of typing either so you will see me acclimate to the world wide internet web-i-site’s stupid language by using such acrothings in my posts.  From this point forth, WTF? will be replaced by WTHF? with the “H” standing for “H-E-double hockey sticks” as it’s closer to something I’d actually say with my mouth hole.