Seeking Refreshing Treats? Try This!

On a hot summer day, nothing cools you down like a delicious motorsicle. Blue is my favorite and I don’t even care if my lips look like a dead guy for a few days after (I don’t wash much).

Mmmmm....Mmmmmm....Motorsicle goes VROOOM!

But don’t be like Jaleeb Caru kids; eat it fast before it melts all over your Sunday dress or you’ll be sorry!

BTW, that ding dong in the Iced Cream truck from last week didn’t have any left (well, he had a few red ones but they taste like shit).

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WTHF? Who Bit this Apple?

And why don’t they have any teeth?

It’s ridiculous and fake, if you’re going to pay ALL this money for a mobile computation device to show that you’re better then everyone else (which you are) then the least they could do is resist biting your logo before shipping your product.

Where's the Teef?

In Appleland, they first bit the logo, And I didn’t speak up because I put stickers on my computer;
And then they bit my keyboard, And I didn’t speak up because I’m missing a finger and never use the ESC key;
And then they bit my screen, And I didn’t speak up because I have no peripheral vision;
And then . . . they bit me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.

Assholes.

Gumdrops, WTF? *

Gumdrops Visual SimulationGumdrops are the kind of product that works on paper but fails miserably in reality.  Pictures of gumdrops look delicious, as I’m writing this my mouth is watering.  False advertising indeed.

However, gumdrops taste horrible, are only available in the homes of the elderly and have an odd salt looking sugar coating.  Furthermore, every time I eat one I leave a tooth behind.  Gumdrops; just like communism only less delicious.  

*Side note: I’m not a big fan of internet memes. I find them cutsie, tired and unoriginal.  However, I’m not a big fan of typing either so you will see me acclimate to the world wide internet web-i-site’s stupid language by using such acrothings in my posts.  From this point forth, WTF? will be replaced by WTHF? with the “H” standing for “H-E-double hockey sticks” as it’s closer to something I’d actually say with my mouth hole.