Seeking Refreshing Treats? Try This!

On a hot summer day, nothing cools you down like a delicious motorsicle. Blue is my favorite and I don’t even care if my lips look like a dead guy for a few days after (I don’t wash much).

Mmmmm....Mmmmmm....Motorsicle goes VROOOM!

But don’t be like Jaleeb Caru kids; eat it fast before it melts all over your Sunday dress or you’ll be sorry!

BTW, that ding dong in the Iced Cream truck from last week didn’t have any left (well, he had a few red ones but they taste like shit).

At this very moment…

there’s a shittin’ iced cream truck outside.

Rink-a-dee-dink Da-dink-dee-dink Dee-dink Dee-dink Dee-diiiink-dink
Rink-a-dee-dink Da-dink-dee-dink Dee-dink Dee-dink Dee-diiiink

I bet he thinks he’s so great. But he’ll be sorry. He’ll be sorry when I’m dead.

WTHF? Who Bit this Apple?

And why don’t they have any teeth?

It’s ridiculous and fake, if you’re going to pay ALL this money for a mobile computation device to show that you’re better then everyone else (which you are) then the least they could do is resist biting your logo before shipping your product.

Where's the Teef?

In Appleland, they first bit the logo, And I didn’t speak up because I put stickers on my computer;
And then they bit my keyboard, And I didn’t speak up because I’m missing a finger and never use the ESC key;
And then they bit my screen, And I didn’t speak up because I have no peripheral vision;
And then . . . they bit me . . . And by that time there was no one left to speak up.


Sometimes when I’m driving…

and someone is following me, real close like.  I pretend that I’m those two hot babes from Cannonball Run and they’re the fuzz.  I generally put on some great music like The Final Countdown, really loud for maximum awesome. 

Then I drive slower so it seems like they’re gaining on me and then I go back to normal speed, but they can keep up with me because their cop car is souped up, mmm…mmmm…good.

These Bleeds?

It’s all fun and games until I end up driving into a swimming pool.  Then it’s just games. One time I was stuck in the car underwater for over an hour. It was the greatest 20 minutes of my life.